Aaron's Blog

The air can often feel thick and heavy, not with humidity, but with an internal pressure that seems to have no end. This is the landscape of depression, a terrain often shrouded in a fog that even the brightest sunshine cannot remedy. For those who walk this path, the experience is intensely personal, a solitary confinement within the confines of one's own mind.

It is a natural human instinct to seek solace and solutions externally when grappling with such an internal struggle. For some, this can involve a prolonged search for meaning and truth that leads down numerous paths. Answers might be sought in the wisdom of teachers, the pronouncements of gurus, the empathy of counselors, the expressions of artists. Each can offer a piece of the puzzle, a glimpse of a potential truth. Yet, the ultimate realisation can be a quiet homecoming – the understanding that the answers, the meaning, the personal truth so desperately sought, reside within. The journey outward, however circuitous, can enrich this inner discovery, layering it with experience and perspective.

But this internal struggle, this deeply personal quest, can be baffling to those who have not experienced its undertow. We struggle with the nature of that which we don’t understand. We all experience what it is to be sad, but depression isn’t just an extension of that. It becomes our jailor and thought police all roled up into one. Well-meaning advice can sometimes feel like a dismissal of a reality that is all-encompassing and often feels utterly beyond conscious control. The chasm between the internal experience and external perception can feel vast and isolating.

The weight of depression is a burden carried by the individual. It is a journey inward, a process of confronting the shadows and slowly, painstakingly, finding one's own way back towards the light. The search for external validation and meaning can eventually give way to an internal reckoning, a discovery of personal truth forged in the crucible of experience.

It is important to recognise that these difficult times, just as much as the periods of joy and ease, become integral threads in the tapestry of who we are. While the depths of depression can feel endless in their grip, it is crucial to remember that this feeling, however overwhelming, is not permanent. There is a horizon beyond the fog, and the journey through darkness, though arduous, contributes uniquely to the richness and complexity of the self.

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In our increasingly complex society, it can often feel like we're all just small cogs in a massive, intricate machine. We're slotted into neat boxes, our roles often defined by the demands of a system that prioritizes efficiency and uniformity. This framework, while driving progress in many ways, can inadvertently stifle the very essence of personal growth: the freedom to explore, to question, and to evolve beyond pre-defined boundaries. The trials and challenges of individual development in such an environment are significant, yet the horizon holds a glimmer of hope in the burgeoning potential of technology to alleviate some of the burdens that reinforce this "cog in the machine" mentality, allowing us to more readily discover who we truly want to be.

The inherent structure of many large systems often discourages thinking outside the box. Conformity can be unintentionally rewarded, while venturing beyond established norms might be met with resistance or simply overlooked. Individuals may find their creativity curtailed, their unique perspectives undervalued, and their potential for self-discovery limited by the constraints of their designated role. This can lead to a sense of stagnation, a feeling of being trapped within a pre-written narrative rather than authoring one's own. The challenge then becomes how to cultivate personal growth amidst these systemic pressures, how to nurture individuality in a world geared towards homogeneity.

The rapid advancements in technology offer an intriguing counter-narrative. Imagine a future where the more mundane and repetitive tasks that often consume our time and energy are intelligently automated. This liberation from the routine could free up mental bandwidth for more creative pursuits, deeper learning, and introspective exploration – the very cornerstones of personal growth. By offloading tasks that demand little cognitive flexibility, technology can provide us with the space to engage in activities that truly resonate with our interests and values, allowing us to delve deeper into self-discovery without the constant pressure of systemic demands.

This newfound time and mental space can be invaluable in the journey of understanding ourselves and charting our own course. Freed from the constraints of narrowly defined roles, individuals can explore diverse fields of knowledge, cultivate unique skills, and engage in activities that spark joy and curiosity. Technology can facilitate access to a wealth of information and connect us with communities of like-minded individuals, fostering environments where we can share ideas, challenge our own perspectives, and ultimately gain a clearer understanding of who we want to become, independent of societal expectations.

At an individual level, this could translate to more fulfilling pursuits, the courage to explore passions previously deemed impractical, and a greater sense of agency in shaping our own lives. We might see a shift from simply fulfilling a role to actively crafting a life aligned with our values and aspirations, driven by our own internal compass rather than the dictates of the system.

On a societal level, the implications are equally profound. As individuals are empowered to think more creatively and independently, we could witness a surge in innovation, problem-solving, and collaborative endeavors that transcend the limitations of current systemic structures. Technology can help us connect across traditional boundaries, fostering a richer exchange of ideas and perspectives that can lead to more dynamic and adaptable societal frameworks, better suited to supporting individual flourishing.

Ultimately, the journey of personal growth in a world of systems requires a conscious effort to cultivate self-awareness, to actively seek out diverse experiences and perspectives, and to nurture a resilient spirit of inquiry. The ongoing evolution of technology offers a powerful potential ally in this endeavor, a chance to dismantle some of the barriers imposed by rigid systems and to foster a future where individual and societal growth are not only possible but actively encouraged, driven by our own innate desire to discover and become our authentic selves. By embracing the opportunities that technology presents, we can aspire to a world where every individual has the chance to not just fit in, but to truly flourish, guided by their own internal vision.

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A video I put together on animal and plant consciousness.

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A poem about spiritual and mystical awakenings.

Video Version 

Something Changed Inside Me

In boundless chambers of my soul,

A slumbering sigil did unfold.

Wrapped in a cloak of sunlit gold,

Whispers of secrets, gently told.

The dust of ages, light and fair,

Took flight like dandelion seeds in air.

A playful current, warm and bright,

Carried a glyph with the morning light.

Unfurling tendrils, soft and green,

Sprouted from depths serene.

A curious sense, soft and sweet,

Filled the halls, on nimble feet.

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Trusting your inner light, (that divine source energy at your core) leads to self-trust (the whole you, the physical aspect and everything that goes into who you are). Trusting yourself leads to self-acceptance.

Self-acceptance grounded in self-trust leads to self-love. There is grace in that. A side benefit is that we can more easily see who the appropriate bearers of wisdom and guidance should be in our lives.

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On our honeymoon Monqiue and I, before we had our three children, drove down from Darwin to Magnetic Island to spend some time together in one

of my parents properties on the island. We had an unforgettable time making memories, visiting the island's bakeries and riding horses together

along the beach at sunset. When I look back, I'm grateful that I found her. Her personality is similar in many ways to my own (she shares

a dislike for politics - [though I understand its necessity in today's world], she's introverted as I am) though I have a more sensitive

nature, and often ask her for guidance if I don't quite get something, and I can rely on her no nonsense nature.

While we were driving down from Darwin to Magnetic Island, we stayed overnight at a cabin in a caravan park in Mount Isa (far north Queensland).

I had a lucid dream that I remember to this day. I rolled out of my body on the bunk bed and saw my spirit guides in front of me clapping

and celebrating with approval(I've not told this story before). Since 1995, even during the hard times, but also the good times serve as reminders as to why we're as compatible

as we are and the family we chose to share and grow together with in this life.

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"Goin' Home" (also known as "Going Home"), is based on Antonin Dvorak's famous "Largo" theme played on English Horn from his Symphony No. 9. It was written by William Arms Fisher (1861-1948). For me listening to this feels like a returning home after a long period of time away, maybe even a stronger connection with source energy.

https://www.americanmusicpreservation.com/GoinHome.htm 

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Career Path

My aspirations for what I wanted to do as a career started young in life. I can remember in primary school keeping to myself deciding to have a small group of friends, instead of attaching myself to the school yard social heirarchy and attempting to get in with the popular crowd. Even at that age I felt that we shouldn't have to appease the egoic aspects of eachother's nature in order to form social connections. This was in some ways isolating. I decided that I wanted to become an actor after I finished school. I had and still do have a fascination of people. That aspiration faded in High School. I didn't believe that it was a valid career path that I could accomplish any success in and make a stable income. Beverly Hills Cop 3 in 1994 was one of the elements that inspired me to want to become a police officer. Later in the year we all had career councilling sessions at school and I was told that in order to enter the police force I'd need to first complete a humanities degree of some form or other. The options were teaching or nursing. I decided to do a nursing degree as I had an empathic nature and teaching didn't appeal because I felt it wasn't in allignment with my personality.

After four years of study, (two of which I was living and supporting myself with my then girlfriend Monique) I got a job as a Registered Nurse in the hospital environment. I liked the patient contact, but sometimes found myself bumping into cultural stereotypes of how a man should act, behave or think. In the nursing profession you need to wear a psychological coat of armor many a time due to the stressful nature of the role and having to deal with patient suffering and death.

After 4 years of study and 5 years of nursing practice I decided to move in a more cerebral direction with a role in health information support and training. I worked in that role for many years even after suffering a very public existential crisis in my early 30's. I used to be embarrassed about it in my younger years, but these days I see it as a valid part of my history and not to be shunned or burried away somewhere.

Eventually I no longer wanted to work in the corporate system. I had the goal of buying my own business and working for myself. My wife wanted to move to the Gold Coast and I decided to buy a vending business down here on the coast. My true passion at the time was to buy and run a gym but I feared that I wouldn't be successful at it, something that I regret not chasing. I sold that vending business preferring to work as a self employed freelancer. In life, we learn that the best way forward isn't always what is easy. We learn that we shouldn't chart our path forward from what we fear, but from what we love.

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The movie "The Martian" directed by Ridley Scott, starring Matt Damon is a modern tour de force of archetypal storytelling. I won't go into the details of the plot, but it blends real aspects of science with science fiction in new and interesting ways. It is a newer "Cast Away". If you liked Cast Away, you'll love "The Martian". It is Adapted from the 2011 novel of the same name by Andy Weir.

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